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Letter 4

The Death of Self

I cannot express to you how deeply I sympathize with you in your time of suffering. I suffer right along with you, but still, it cheers me up to know that God loves you.

And the very proof that God loves you is that He does not spare you, but lays upon you the cross of Yeshua. Whatever spiritual knowledge or feelings we may have, they are all a delusion if they do not lead us to the real and constant practice of dying to self. And it is true that we do not die without suffering. Nor is it possible to be considered truly dead while there is any part of us which is yet alive. The spiritual death (which is really a blessing in disguise) is undeniably painful. It cuts "swift and deep into our innermost thoughts and desires with all their parts, exposing us for what we really are." The great Physician who sees in us what we cannot see, knows exactly where to place the knife. He cuts away that which we are most reluctant to give up. And how it hurts! But we must remember that pain is only felt where there is life, and where there is life is just the place where death is needed. Our Father wastes no time by cutting into parts which are already dead. Do not misunderstand me; He wants you to live abundantly, but this can only be accomplished by allowing Him to cut into that fleshly part of you which is still stubbornly clinging to life. Don't expect God to deal with those vulgar, wicked desires which you renounced forever when you gave yourself away to him. That part of you is already dead. But, He will deal with the parts of you that are still alive. He might even test your faith with restrictions and trials of all kinds.

Should you resist? Certainly not! You must learn to suffer all things! The death of self must be voluntary, and it can only be accomplished as far are you allow. Anyone who resists death and repels its advances shows that his is not willing to die. You must be willing to yield to the will of God whenever He decides to remove from you all the props on which you have leaned.